Hello? Who Is This? Margaret?: Essays

A comedic look at blind ambition, stubborn optimism, and perseverance

Dani Alpert is an expert on the fortitude and delusion required to pursue childhood dreams that just won't drop dead. Her experiences are a case study in the human spirit's tenacity and its unwavering ability to keep going in the face of crushing rejection. After years toiling in the entertainment industry, hearing "Almost," "So close," or "Not quite" on a loop, she turned rejection into fuel and humor into a survival tool.

Some of Dani's stories dive into the bowels of childhood, the creative psyche, and the birth of an aspiring Broadway baby. Other episodes explore crippling adult fears and self-doubt and what happens when the ingénue becomes a member of AARP. Whether she's describing her bumpy road trying to get a foothold in Hollywood, her retail adventures shopping for gas masks during COVID, or her idiotic decision to vacation at a romantic couple's resort after a heart-wrenching breakup, Dani offers gentle shoves-inspiration wrapped in cautionary tales-for anyone still chasing their dreams but feeling stuck.

Hello? Who Is This? Margaret? delivers tales of universally awkward, misunderstood, and human failings through wit, pop culture, and Dani's losses and wins (mostly losses). Her humor-sometimes dark and distorted but always self-aware-is a salve for the messiness and absurdities of life. Dani's candid essays speak to the hopeful in all of us.