A piercingly honest and vulnerable memoir of one person's journey to heal from a hidden mental health disorder, find her purpose, and bring awareness to others.

Aneela Idnani has a secret to tell--a secret that she's held onto for more than twenty-five years. Starting at the age of twelve and continuing into adulthood, she has struggled with chronic hair pulling, also known as trichotillomania. In this compelling memoir, Aneela shares her story of living on the sidelines with a misunderstood and underdiagnosed mental health disorder, her attempted suicide as a result, and how she ultimately found peace and purpose.

Aneela's hair pulling was subconscious and compulsive. As she grew older, she learned to hide this "bad habit" from her family and friends. She struggled with shame and guilt. And she felt very, very alone. After her father's death from leukemia, her urge to pull intensified. And after her first pregnancy, her mental health began a frightening downward spiral. That's when Aneela made the life-changing decision to spread awareness about the disorder, and she and her husband created the HabitAware program.

By shining a much-needed light on body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs), Aneela encourages fellow sufferers to come out of hiding and into healing. Sharing the insights and strategies that helped her recover, Aneela takes the reader on a profound journey from the depths of confusion, fear, and shame to a place of hope, healing, and purpose.