An Excerpt from Don't Be Yourself: Why Authenticity Is Overrated (and What to Do Instead)
An excerpt from Don't Be Yourself by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, published by Harvard Business Review Press and longlisted for the 2025 Porchlight Business Book Awards in the Personal Development & Human Behavior category.
"Just be yourself" might be the worst advice you've ever received.
For years, we've been told that authenticity is the key to success—that we should be true to ourselves, tune out others' opinions, and lead with unwavering genuineness. This feel-good message has spawned countless self-help books, leadership seminars, and viral social media posts.
There's just one problem: science says it's wrong.
Drawing on decades of research, renowned psychologist Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic reveals an uncomfortable truth: our obsession with authenticity is backfiring. From Silicon Valley's authenticity worship to failed diversity programs, he exposes how our fixation on our "true selves" undermines both individual and organizational success.
The most successful people aren't those who rigidly "stay true to themselves." They're the ones who adapt and evolve, largely by paying a great deal of attention to how others see them and adjusting their behavior to the requirements of each situation. The evidence is clear: when we focus less on expressing our authentic selves and more on understanding others, we become better humans.
Blending the latest revelations in psychology with razor-sharp cultural critique, Don't Be Yourself doesn't just challenge conventional wisdom—it offers a playbook for long-lasting career success.
Don't Be Yourself has been longlisted in the Personal Development & Human Behavior category of Porchlight Book Company's 2025 Business Books Awards. The excerpt below is adapted from the book's Introduction, "Authenticity Isn't a Helpful Life Hack."
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The Perils of Authenticity
In my thirty-year career as a psychologist, I have always been fascinated—and at times also disturbed—by the gap between scientific research and popular beliefs about human behavior. This fascination led me to research and publish books on the downsides of confidence (as well as the upsides of moderate insecurities and, even, imposter syndrome) the troublesome gap between the leaders we need and those we actually get (which explains why so many incompetent men become leaders), and the alarming impact of AI on human behavior (including its ability to turn us into a more impulsive, impatient, narrow-minded, and boring version of ourselves).
My approach here is generally the same, namely, to use data and science to refine oversimplified popular narratives and opinions on important career, work, and organizational issues into more nuanced, evidence-based, and accurate knowledge, thus replacing popular misconceptions with facts and reason. Because, as Daniel Boorstin noted, “The biggest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, but the illusion of knowledge.”
No topic better illustrates this disconnect—between what we believe and what science says about human behavior—than authenticity. Indeed, few psychological traits are more frequently touted as desirable, moral, and socially advantageous than authenticity, with millions of blogs, books, and articles dedicated to its benefits. We appear to have turned pure, unfiltered personal expression into an ultimate life hack, a moral and noble goal in itself, with no regard for what truly drives effective interpersonal functioning in any meaningful interaction, particularly in consequential settings such as work.
To some, my contrarian view may seem controversial. After I told a colleague that I was intending to write a critique on the authenticity cult, his response was that it may even be easier to take down Taylor Swift (which, incidentally, should not be dismissed purely on the basis of her popularity and cachet, so perhaps not a bad idea for my next book).
My aim isn’t to take shots at our current views about authenticity just for the sake of being controversial or polemical. Nor am I trying to deny some of the personal advantages of authenticity, which partly explain its popularity. Notably, research has repeatedly highlighted the many benefits of subjective authenticity, in the sense of feeling that you are acting in accordance with your true or real self, as opposed to external pressures or extrinsic forces (e.g., etiquette, culture, authority, and social norms). Since the rise of positive psychology in the 1970s, many positive correlations between this subjective dimension of authenticity on the one hand, and a range of desirable and valuable work and real-life outcomes on the other, have been identified and replicated.
For instance, empirical studies show that people who report experiencing a more au then tic self are also more likely to report higher levels of job, career, and relationship satisfaction. In other words, when we feel more au then tic, we also tend to experience more positive moods and self-views, as well as higher levels of confidence, and we are more likely to display a stronger teamwork orientation and a higher levels of work performance. Authenticity has also been linked to higher levels of subjective well-being, with some studies pointing to a causal connection, such that feeling more authentic would result in higher levels of happiness, life satisfaction, and psychological well-being. The benefits of subjective authenticity also appear to extend beyond the workplace. In the realm of love and relationships, studies show that perceiving your romantic partner as authentic is associated with higher marital satisfaction, though the causal direction isn’t clear (one would expect relationship satisfaction to boost the feeling that your partner is being authentic). Feeling authentic also produces a sense of subjective positivity that tends to reduce the likelihood that you behave aggressively toward others, whether they are strangers or friends.
But the existing research on authenticity reveals a fundamental challenge. Despite widespread enthusiasm, the term remains frustratingly elusive, ambiguous, and contradictory. Whether it applies to brands, organizations, art, or humans, authenticity means different things to different people—with the notable exception that, whatever it means, it is implied that it should mean something positive, and that authenticity is an experience we should all cherish and try to pursue.
In fact, the popular “just be yourself” advice that underpins the mainstream authenticity cult is in stark contrast with the extensive scientific evidence on the major determinants of career success, leadership effectiveness, and effective diversity and inclusion interventions. As this book will illustrate, even if such advice is well-intended, it is likely to backfire, straining our relationships and stalling our career growth, not to mention handicapping our image and brand in professional and career settings.
In particular, popular assumptions about authenticity are completely at odds with what well-adjusted and functioning humans and emotionally mature adults must do if they are interested in having successful interactions with others, and harnessing a positive reputation at work and beyond. Whatever you may hear about the virtues of authenticity and “just being yourself,” the fact of the matter is that most people work in teams and organizations that actually reward strategic self-presentation (the intentional act of putting on a carefully rehearsed and choreographed professional self, especially so it comes across as genuine) over unfiltered self-expression (especially if it’s not prosocial or professional). And, like most people, your current and future colleagues, coworkers, and bosses will appreciate seeing and interacting with your professional rather than uninhibited self. They will also be grateful for your efforts to display your best rather than your “real” or “whole” self.
Furthermore, even when we feel more “authentic” and experience some subjective comfort from identifying with our actions, there’s absolutely no guarantee that others will feel the same way. What’s good for us may not be good for others, which is a problem because our career advancement, and pretty much any objective aspiration we may have in any area of life, is dependent on how others perceive us (rather than how we perceive or feel about ourselves). Contrary to what the authenticity cult predicates, success is rarely attained through radical honesty or by always showing every single side of ourselves. Instead, it’s a function of carefully managing your self-presentation—adapting to situations and showcasing the qualities that are best appreciated by others—while making an effort to conceal negative, undesirable, and irrelevant aspects of your personality.
The most successful people aren’t brutally honest, uncomfortably transparent, or intensely authentic. Rather, they are masters at reading a room, adapting their approach, and showcasing precisely the qualities that will resonate with a particular audience at precisely the right moment. They know when to dial up certain traits and when to dial down others. They are able to draw from a very wide behavioral repertoire that enables them to respond flexibly and effectively to each situation, without coming across as fake or dishonest. As this book will attempt to show, all of this requires a great deal of effort, practice, and paying attention to how our behavior impacts others, rather than expecting others to adjust or adapt to our natural or spontaneous self.
Reprinted by permission of Harvard Business Review Press. Excerpted from Don’t Be Yourself by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic. Copyright © 2025 Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic is the Chief Innovation Officer at ManpowerGroup, a professor of business psychology at University College London and Columbia University, a cofounder of Deeper Signals, and an associate at the Harvard Kennedy School's Entrepreneurial Finance Lab. He is the author of Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders? (and How to Fix It), upon which his TEDx talk is based, and I, Human: AI, Automation, and the Quest to Reclaim What Makes Us Unique.
